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Friday Humor: A Lesson In Skipping Church

Series: Friday Humor #6

golf ball by hole

A church Pastor woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.

So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to preside over the services for him that day.

As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, the Pastor headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away.

This way he knew he wouldn’t accidentally meet anyone he knew from his church. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, “You’re not going to let him get away with this, are you?” The Lord sighed, and said, “No, I guess not.”

Just then the Pastor hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole.

IT WAS A 300 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, “Why did you let him do that?” The Lord smiled and replied, Who is he going to tell?

 

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Friday Humor: “The Golf Challenge”

*Series: Friday Humor #1

 A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones…He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouting.”  Proverbs 17:22 & Job 8:21

 

The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel. “Your Holiness,” said one of the Cardinals, Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths.

The Pope thought this was a good idea, but he had never held a golf club in his hand. “Do we have a Cardinal who could represent me?” he asked.

“None that plays very well,” a Cardinal replied. “But,” he added, “there is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer who is a devout Catholic. We can offer to make him a Cardinal, then ask him to play Mr. Netanyahu as your personal representative. In addition, to showing our spirit of cooperation, we’ll also win the match.”

Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made. Of course, Nicklaus was honored and agreed to play. The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of the result, “I have some good news and some bad news, your Holiness,” said the golfer.

“Tell me the good news first, Cardinal Nicklaus,” said the Pope.

Well, your Holiness, I don’t like to brag, but even though I’ve played some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life, this was the best I have played, by far. I must have been inspired from above. My drives were long and true, my irons were accurate and purposeful, and my putting was perfect. With all due respect, my play was truly marvelous.

“There’s bad news? the Pope asked.

“Yes,” Nicklaus sighed, “I lost to Rabbi Tiger Woods by seven strokes.”

*Each Friday – God-willing – On the VLM blog I will be positing some kind of “clean” humor – whether a story, illustration, joke, cartoon, and the like, to bring a smile to your face. I believe that God has a sense of humor. Elton Trueblood even wrote a wonderful book on the subject called: The Humor of Christ. San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1975. The goal of this blog is to encourage you in Christ. I hope that each week I will be able to post “good medicine for your soul” through the gift of laugher – DPC. The source of this joke is unknown.

 

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