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Friday Humor: Classic Yogi-isms From Yogi Berra

12 Jul

Friday Humor #16: Some of My Favorite Yogi-isms!

Yogi Berra

Lawrence Peter Berra played Major League Baseball for 19 years for the New York Yankees. He played on 10 World Series Championship teams, is a MLB Hall of Famer and has some awe-inspiring stats. His name is consistently brought up as one of the best catchers in baseball history, and he was voted to the Team of the Century in 1999.

Amazing accomplishments aside, they probably aren’t how you know Lawrence. You know him as Yogi, a nickname given to him by a friend who likened his cross-legged sitting to a yogi. Yogi is famous for his fractured English, malapropisms and sometimes nonsensical quotes. Here are some of my favorites:

“He must’ve made that picture before he died.”

“I’ve got nothing to say and I’m only going to say it once.”

“Slump? I ain’t in no slump. I just ain’t hitting.”

“If people don’t want to come out to the park, nobody’s going to stop them.”

“I don’t care what people say. That’s for them to say.”

“It’s like deja vu all over again.”

“We made too many wrong mistakes.”

“You can observe a lot just by watching.”

“A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.”

“He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s amphibious.”

“If the world was perfect, it wouldn’t be.”

“If you don’t know where you’re going, you might end up some place else.”

Responding to a question about remarks attributed to him that he did not think were his: “I really didn’t say everything I said.”

“The future ain’t what it use to be.”

“I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.”

On why he no longer went to Ruggeri’s, a St. Louis restaurant: “Nobody goes there anymore because it’s too crowded.”

“I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.”

“We have deep depth.”

“All pitchers are liars or crybabies.”

Yogi Berra Catching

When giving directions to Joe Garagiola to his New Jersey home, which is accessible by two routes: “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

“Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.”

“Never answer anonymous letters.”

On being the guest of honor at an awards banquet: “Thank you for making this day necessary.”

“The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.”

“Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.”

As a general comment on baseball: “90% of the game is half mental.”

“I don’t know (if they were men or women running naked across the field). They had bags over their heads.”

“It gets late early out there.”

Reporter: “Yogi, have you made your mind up yet?” Berra: “Not that I know of.”

“Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?” -Carmen Berra, Yogi’s wife. “Surprise me.” – Yogi

“It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.”

“If I had to do it all over again, I would do it over again.”

“It ain’t over till it’s over.”

Yogi Berra saying bye

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